So lately, I've been feeling like I can be inherently selfish and think only about myself not caring about the other person or people affected by the situation. I dwell on me, myself, and I as if I am the very reason the earth goes round the sun, the very centre of the universe. I realise, of course, that I'm being a stubborn, spoilt, brat but somehow the fact that I want what I want, even at the expense of possibly hurting other people's feelings is scary beyond belief. How passive can someone be? Especially when the people you might end up hurting out of sheer stubborness are those closest to you and those who care deeply for you. My mind likes to bring up a point when my heart softens, wanting me to take a step back, "If they really care about me, and this makes me happy, shouldn't they just let me have it my way?" So this epic battle between my head and heart continues... there's something I want, well, there's a lot of things I want, but this one thing in particular, and I feel like I'm going to have to really fight for it. I've been fighting for things my whole life, and have come to have the reputation of being a fighter just for the sake of it. The truth is... I'm just not willing to compromise on the kind of life I want to lead. When I have I've been inconsolable for months after and feel like I let myself down. But what are the things worth fighting for? And what things can you step back and let someone else win? And how much can you give in the way of compromise?
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