Life: A Continuum

So after having been given increased responsibilities in the professional realm my BITA list (Balls.In.The.Air) would give a professional juggler the heebie jeebies! I am still working to find a balance - or assistant so that I can learn to successfully delegate and oversee from a management point of view. This blog is not supposed to get personal - so for those of you who are more interested in what I do, check out my private blog.

Long story short my boss suggested I put in 18 hours a day - I couldn't tell if he was serious, but I flat out said no. Don't get me wrong I love my job - on most days - but I'm not going to kill myself working. I work to live. To enjoy my life. Have disposable income. Spend it. Yet I need the money and I need the job cos I want the lifestyle that it can buy. I think, the conclusion I've arrived at so far, is that we have to analyse what it is we want, and then work towards it. That 'working towards it' requires a lot in the way of long hours, sacrifice and compromise. We can always lower our expectations and then do less work. It boils down, again, to priorities.

You're a young lad with your whole future ahead of you. A fairly qualified banker bloke ready to settle down. A dreamer who lives in wonderland waiting for her prince. Whoever you are, you set your own priorities. Whether it's academics, career, family, friends, bring a social butterfly or just living life day by day - you dictate where your life is going and what that requires from you. All in all, you set the route, how much you need to put in is solely in your hands. You do reap what you sow. The real winners are those that strike the perfect balance, keeping both themselves and their significant other, or boss, or tutor, or parents - whoever - happy. In finding that balance we must also look for the balance between being selfish and making sure we move in the right direction for our personal and professional growth and being selfless and spending time with our families, doing things with and sometimes for other people, going out of our way to give back and sometimes doing something we really don't want to because it'll make someone else smile.

This will be an ongoing debacle - one I will learn from with passing days and years and therefore continue to update!

Quotes of the Day!

today it's all about humour - cos i'm all blah - and i needed a little pick me up! :D

The Tea Tribulations: Green or Black?

Tea is quickly gaining ground over coffee. Needless to say, it needs to be perfectly brewed. In such health-conscious times, we must ask the question, ‘which tea is better for you?’ ‘They’ say that tea is packed with anti-oxidants and therefore ‘good for you’. Not to mention the enormous amounts of caffeine that’s buzzing within, too much tea and you can say goodbye to a good night’s rest. We explore the benefits of both…

Traditional, old-school; a cuppa good ol’ black tea:

 If you’re all about flavour, then the richer black teas must appeal more to your taste buds. Not only that but it also packs a punch with antioxidants which combat free radicals – chemical by-products which are known to damage DNA, which in turn cause cancers and other health problems. One of the antioxidants is known as quercetin which is a substance that fights inflammation and supports a healthy immune system. However, there is some research to suggest that black tea is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer but no concrete evidence to support the theory.

The Netherlands National Institute of Public Health recently conducted a study of over 500 men, and found that an increased number of flavonoids in the diet can drastically reduce the risk of stroke. While some flavonoids, which are essentially nutrients obtained from plants with antioxidant benefits, were obtained from fruit and veg, over 70% come from black tea. It is these phytonutrients (plant nutrients) that reduce LDLs in the system, that is to say the ‘bad’ cholesterol, which in turn reduces chances of a stroke. Four cups of daily tea are recommended, in men, to combat the risk of such cholesterol-related diseases.

Furthermore, Dr Joseph Vita, at Boston’s School of Medicine in a separate study concluded that black tea can reverse abnormal functioning of the blood vessels and which can cause a stroke or heart-attack. Within two hours of downing a cuppa there are visible changes and improvement in the working of the blood vessels.

If you’re hoping to pull an all-nighter, definitely go for black tea! On an average a strong brew has about 50mg of caffeine per cup. Not half as many as coffee, which has between a hundred to 350mgs, but certainly more than green tea which weighs in at eight to thirty, again, depending on the strength!

Last but not least, a study held in 2009, suggested that a long-term intake of black-tea greatly reduced the prevalence of diabetes. Compounds extracted from the product were more effective at slowing the absorbption of blood sugar than those found in green tea.

If you’re prone to anxiety and blood pressure problems you may want to lower your intake of black tea, as the large amount of caffeine can cause increased heart rates, anxiety attacks and worsening of stomach ulcers.

 

Chilled out, light ‘n’ easy; health-conscious, green tea:

Catechins! No I’m not screaming out mindless words in excitement. Catechins are a substance that is present in both green and black tea, but during the fermenting process in black tea a majority of them are turned into theaflavins and thearubigens, which have their own benefits. The important thing to note is that there’s a certain substance known as epigallocatechin gallate, more commonly known as EGCG, which is present eight times more in a cup of green tea than black tea. This substance helps to break down body fats and increase metabolism. A study at the Queen Margaret University in Edinburgh led to suggest that drinking four cups of commercial green tea on a daily basis not only reduces body fat, weight and cholestrol but also systolic and diastolic blood pressure when the diet is unchanged, which in turn reduces risk factors which lead to heart problems.

Since green tea leaves are gently steamed to stop the oxidising process, the same leaves from the Camellia Sinensis are allowed to further oxidise and go through further processing and fermenting before they’re ready to be brewed. This however destroys a lot of the natural properties and benefits of the tea while they’re still present, for the most part, in green tea. One such substance is polyphenol, which is an antioxidant plant substance that reduces the risk of degenerative diseases such as cancer and cardiovascular diseases.

Therefore a more potent anti-oxidant than the former, green tea originates mainly from China and is slowly infiltrating the west where traditionally black tea was drunk for centuries with or without milk and sugar. There are a myriad of flavours available, some sweet some tangy, some fruity yet some richer and almost woody. None, however, come close to the strength of flavour bursting from black tea.

 So which is better? Green or Black? I say drink both!

Until recently research focused more on green tea as it’s loaded with the aforementioned EGCG which is a very powerful antioxidant. However, the by products of the fermenting process to obtain black tea leaves behind theaflavins and thearubigens which not only contribute to its deep, dark, colour and rich, distinctive flavour but also provide health benefits originally attributed solely to green tea such as reducing LDLs and improving blood vessel function.

Quotes of the Day!

 

Quotes of the Day!

Love yourself, let it go.

Anger is such a terrible thing that it can tear families, friends and lovers apart if not managed productively. Don’t get me wrong – anger is an important thing to feel, but one must learn how adequately to deal with it before they can really use is in a constructive manner, forgive and move on.

[caption id="attachment_120" align="aligncenter" width="430"] Roaarrrr!!![/caption]

We’ve all been there; felt the overwhelming rage take over us as words we don’t really mean let loose from our lips and sometimes our bodies respond in almost violent ways. Almost always, we regret our actions later, or cause more harm than we meant – oftentimes leaving us in a position where it’s hard to pick up the pieces as the irreparable damage has already been done.

Understanding anger is key in being able to forgive and move on with your life. We mustn’t fight anger, but use it to our advantage. William G DeFoore, with nearly forty years experience in helping people in personal growth and development, says that we must not see anger as being the ‘bad guy’ because in doing so “you just won’t get to the forgiving part.” Anger and forgiveness, in his opinion are much the same.

Remember that life starts with love and anger is an inevitable emotion, which can temporarily or permanently take us away from love. When we work through our anger, we can forgive, which in turn allows us to return to love.

How are anger and forgiveness the same?

Both unhealthy anger and premature forgiveness include judgement, dishonouring oneself, and feeling like you are ‘one-up’ from the other person.

When a person feels anger towards someone else, it is most often that they are judging them and feeling that the other person is wrong, and therefore seeing themselves as being better, or ‘one-up’. By playing what is referred to as ‘the blame-game’ the angry person is in fact dishonouring themselves by not taking responsibility for their actions and instead falling victim to the situation.

The same is true of premature forgiveness, that is to say forgiving someone before you are ready. You are still judging them, and feeling like ‘the bigger person’ by forgiving them, but in truth, you are again, dishonouring yourself, because though you have forgiven them in so to speak, in your heart and gut you still hold resentment towards them.

Things to remember when you are angry...

The other person is responsible for his/her actions that triggered your anger. You are not responsible for their behaviour. You are, however, responsible for your emotional reaction to their behaviour and your actions that result from that.

What happens when anger is healthy and forgiveness is authentic?

In such a scenario, which is really, the place you want to be, and how you want to use your anger in a constructive manner, there is a power attained by a healthy release and letting go, which in the end, brings you out of the victim position. It is important to note that anger can only be healthy when it is accompanied, to some degree, by love, compassion and wisdom and forgiveness can only be true when it is driven by love for yourself and/or the other person.

Understanding anger...

As we discussed earlier, anger is something we’ve all felt, and for the most part we see it as being a bad thing. This is, in fact, a common misconception; anger is not necessarily a negative feeling.

Some more false impressions are that it is possible to be without anger completely, it is wrong to feel angry, anger and aggression is one and the same thing, and when someone is angered they are not safe to be around.

You’ll be surprised to learn, that ‘healthy’ anger, is in effect, a feeling you experience when you’re threatened or opposed and therefore a protective reaction. It is a powerful energy that can be used for positive change or outcomes and thus serves to be a fuel for effective action.

Think about anger towards a system; unhealthy anger would mean causing a ruckus, being violent and voicing your frustrations through destructive actions whereas healthy anger would use those frustrations to delve into one’s creativity and find a practical solution to change how things work.

Next time you’re outraged by something or someone, take a step back, breathe, and search deep within yourself to come up with an answer to solve your issue, rather than lash out.

Understanding true forgiveness...

Funnily enough, true forgiveness is something that only your body can do, as both anger and resentment are held and felt by the body as well as the mind, so you need to make sure they’re both ready to forgive before you can take that step.

Some things that must be understood regarding forgiveness are:

• It requires both a physical and emotional release before it is complete.


• Your body can hold onto anger long after you think you’ve forgiven in your mind.


• You do not have the power to absolve the wrong-doer, forgiveness is for yourself.


• Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their actions.


• Withholding forgiveness does not hold the wrong-doer accountable for his/her actions – they are accountable regardless.


• You must fully examine the depths of your wounds and anger caused by the wrong-doer before you can move on to forgive them.

One must always remember, that at the end of the day, forgiveness is for you, and for no one else. It is also good for your health as it allows you to be more joyful and loving! Khalil Gibran’s quote comes to mind here, “The more sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain.” But of course, we have to first free our minds and bodies of the fury and resentment! When you pardon someone for hurting you and causing you pain you will feel your body relax; you will sleep and breathe easier.

Down in the dumps!

Sometimes we don’t get what we want – or we don’t always get what we want – either way in testing  times like these we have to just make do with what we have and what we need. It’s so easy to be sucked into a downward spiral when things aren’t going your way and it becomes increasingly difficult to remember or try to stay positive. There’s something good about every day, but when your life feels like one big black hole and you’re stuck in an emotional void feeling numb and so not feeling at all, these good things get blurry and are often hard to make out.

Whether it’s a job that you got turned down from, a boy that broke your heart, parents that can’t accept you’re an adult, or a decision you made that had unforeseen consequences... when you’ve done everything in your power to make something happen and it’s not happening how you’d like perhaps you just need to have faith that either it’s not meant to be, or then, it’s not meant to be quite yet. If it’s something that’s gone terribly wrong, try to look for the lesson, if not the silver lining. What can you learn from this experience? We must believe that the universe has a plan for us and ultimately we will get to that place where we are insanely happy, but for now this is the path we have to tread to get there. Once we’re there perhaps we will appreciate our journey, but for now, it’s treacherous at best. Hang in there, the murkiness will soon clear and you’ll be able to see the bright sunshine once again. Cue “I can see clearly now the rain has gone...”

It’s also good to sometimes have an outlet. What do you feel? I know we like to say we’re numb, but that usually comes from feeling too much of an emotion. So what is it? Anger? Hurt? Regret? Sadness? We can take these negative feelings and use the energy to do something positive. Perhaps you can volunteer time at a shelter and distract yourself while focusing on other people’s problems and seeing how much you have to be grateful for. In doing this you’re also doing something good, and we all know how karma works. Points! If you’re filled with anger and your blood is boiling, perhaps take a self defence class. Learn how to kick box or join a fitness regime. It’ll get your adrenaline pumping and get the anger out of your system in a series of kicks, jabs, and punches! When you’re feeling low I find that what always helps is making someone else happy – it works better than people trying to make you happy. Bake a batch of cupcakes for someone, take someone for coffee, help a little old lady cross the road, donate some old clothes, play with an animal. You’ll be surprised at what this will do for your morale.

[caption id="attachment_117" align="aligncenter" width="329"] Don't be grouchy![/caption]

Most important is to trust in life’s plan for us and know that, as Soren Kierkegaard put it, life must be lived as we our living it but it can only be understood backwards. Have faith that life will work itself out and you will be happy at the end of the day. Let this trying moment make your back stronger so that when life throws you a curved ball you can handle it and carry the burdens that come your way. And for each moment that you think you’ve got it easy, be incredibly grateful, because you know how difficult things can sometimes be.

 

 

 

Quotes of the Day!

A job won't take care of you when you are sick, nor listen to you whine when you are sad and lonely at night. Your friend will. So stay in touch! Today... friendships were on my mind - and this is dedicated to all my friends :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life: A Continuum

...coming soon!

Sleep, Pray, Love: Ramzan Diaries

Everyone in my house gathers round the telly just before 7pm, eager to hear the Azaan so that we may open our fast, not having eaten anything since 3.30am! We listen patiently for the siren that goes off in the area as we set various eats on the table, everyone scrambling to make a tall glass of their favourite drinks. Those who are fasting look like a zombies as they trudge along having just scrambled out of bed to the promise of food and drink.

The first few days, I must confess, are terrible! Caffeine withdrawal, dehydration and hunger pangs set in. But today, day 5, doesn't seem to be so bad. We also have some respite as the monsoon rains unleashed themselves upon us and things seem to have cooled down a little.

Every year I take away a lot from fasting - but this year, perhaps, more so. In Lahore's sweltering heat, with temperatures between 38-43 degrees on average and often no electricity I sweat out whatever little hydration I had in my body as I try to focus on work. I feel the pain of those who go through this on a daily basis, not of their own accord. When a feast of delicious, fried goodies, dripping in oil, fresh fruits, dates, and icy drinks are laid out for us at dusk, they're still starving. It really makes me think.

Though it may have it's health benefits, that is the very lesson that we're meant to learn. How fortunate we are to have the hand that we were dealt and how grateful we should be for our circumstances. And if it hits you hard enough, perhaps, you think about what you can do to ease the suffering of others who don't always have food to eat or clean water to drink. Something to ponder as you pop that date into your mouth this evening!

Quotes of the Day!

Buddhism really speaks to me. It works out well as a way of life, teaches respect, kindness and above all love for all creation. It inspires me on a daily basis and it was with this that I embarked upon my A-level art portfolio: Nirvana. For now I bring you quotes… but in my other blog, whenever I find time I will be posting some paintings of that era so long ago.

Today...

Today I'm positively POOPED. I barely slept, I couldn't get out of bed and now I'm sitting at my desk in zombie mode. I think I'm going to take a break for a few days - all the partying and vacationing I did over the last six weeks is catching up to meeee!

Life

so I know I was supposed to think and write more on life and I did - think! I even had a name for the new blog post "life: a continuum" but many things happening at once meant I didn't actually write it! vertigo, nausea, the insane heat, internet being busted, and a lot of work to be done kept me quite busy! perhaps tomorrow?

SHOES!!!

i want these shoesssss! aren't they THE most sexy, sleek, CHIC things ever! patent leather stilettos in such scrumptious (and some sophisticated) colours - i wanna pair of each! i love the neon pink sliver with the black. *sigh* should've bought them when i had the chance, but i found the 5" heel to be a bit TOO much! after all i don't particularly enjoy towering over people. and i'm already 5'6" so at 5'11" i'd be SO high...!

ARGHHHH!

something is majorly up with the formatting! things are indenting and outdenting themselves! this never happens on my other blog(s)!!! how do i fixxx it! RE: The Big THREE-oh - i don't want everything going in and out in the list! raaaaa! 

Life...

So there's soooo many things going on in life and it's so hard to strike a balance. You're only young once and there's things that if you don't do now the opportunities may pass you by. Juggling responsibilities is hard enough, but in between keeping all the balls in the air, if you wanna do a little square dance too - chances are something's going to fumble. Is that where prioritising comes in?

[caption id="attachment_37" align="aligncenter" width="290"] true story![/caption]

You're dating, you're partying, you're living it up, but you want to settle down. You have a stable job and are financially okay enough to support at least your self and perhaps another. You want to study. You want to have kids. You can't leave it too late. You're a banker boy and your crazy work hours leave little time for relationships and socialising. You're a doctor and picking a speciality is hard because you can't ignore that there's other aspects of life that demand attention. You're an artist and your passion is spilling bottles of pigment onto canvas but you need the money to survive.

It's no wonder that in this day and age stress levels are through the roof. You've just about finished studying at 22-23, you want to date, you want to settle down, but hey you want to study some more, and progress in your career. Wait you're going to be thirty soon - *body clock ticking* - you need to have a baby. Just the thought of it makes my head spin. If we thought a day whizzes by, sometimes they can't whizz by fast enough. Years are not enough. 365 days... it's nothing. Not when I'm planning my future. In five years i'll be thirty and at the pace I'm going at my timeline won't work! *freak out*

*DEEEEEEP BREATH*

Do I just do my best, take a breath, trust that it'll all work out and let the universe handle it? Just have faith that in the end it'll all make sense, my journey? If I don't try my best I'm afraid I may end up in the wrong place. I don't want to have myself to blame. But there I go again, thinking about it, more stress.

*facepalm*

The thing I have come to realise is that life waits for no one. When that moment comes and in a dramatic, or not so dramatic flash, your memories start to roll, I bet it's your family, loved ones, the times you laughed, and all that jazz that flashes before your eyes. Not the college paper you scrambled to hand in or the pay raise you got, neither will it be the meeting you missed valentine's day for or the patient you saw while your family waited for you at the dining table.

So I think THAT pretty much clears it up. Prioritise. But wait... you need the one for the other. If you don't have some form of stability - financially - you can't have the other good stuff too can you? Or are we just spoilt? Why do we kill ourselves to make a living and then die working? What kind of life is that? Something to think about... I shall continue this tomorrow so that I stop rambling round in circles!

*get lost in thought*

HAHAHA

HAHAHA

This I just had to share!

The big THREE-oh!

I've got a long way to go before I see THIS day, but still... good read! AND i love lists!

[caption id="attachment_53" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Enjoy the good things in life when you're young. Like the bitter sweetness of young love.[/caption]

By 30, you should have ...

1. One old boyfriend you can't imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

CHECK!

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

I guess my beanbag doesn't count!

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

Hm...must invest in a designer dress that's chic and sophisticated yet sexy and glam!

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

check, check and...check!

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

meh...I don't know if i'll ever see THAT day!

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

ohhhh yeah!

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.

Realisation - check, money...not so much!

8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.

Check to all three!

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.

Check!

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

Yep! Lucky enough to have those!

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

Haha! *makes note*

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

Ticket to go see Madonna live in concert?

13. The belief that you deserve it.

Oh HELLS yes, after the year that I've had?!

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

I'm trying to get those in order now... but the exercise one is on n off.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

Check, check and I'll work on the rest!

[caption id="attachment_54" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Sometimes, this is how I feel and though I can't explain it in words, this picture says it perfectly. I feel THAT happy.[/caption]

By 30, you should know ...

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

Oh...yeah - how can you fall in love WITHOUT losing yourself? I guess you shouldn't lose who you are, but you should lose yourself in the feeling. Isn't that half the fun? And why it feels so good? Cos you give everything you have... and then some?

2. How you feel about having kids.

Can't wait. As long as it's with the right person! The more the merrier, as long as we can afford to give them a good life.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

Yeah, these are all things I'm going to have to learn. Serious confrontation issues...

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

I believe with the right support, I figure these things out!

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

Let's come back to this later, shall we?

6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.

um...I have time!

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

Been there, done that, and actually, quite enjoyed it.

8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing.

Mine. I know where to go, even though I don't always end up there.

9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.

Sigh...I guess.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

noooo! I also am in constant denial of change.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

I believe that's something I'm aware of, but it's probably also something that changes as you grow up.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.

This is true. Even if your best friends with oncologists, dentist, pulmonologist and other doctor types!

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

Figuring this one out slowly...

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

Raaaa!

15. Why they say life begins at 30

Can't wait to find out! Or no... I can :D

[caption id="attachment_55" align="aligncenter" width="300"] This one's just funny! I don't really believe it![/caption]

What's on your personal list of things to have and know -- and possibly do -- before turning 30?

List excerpted from Glamour's "Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know By The Time She's 30."

Met the Parents!

So in hindsight - after my first post - "meeting the parents" (and after having actually been through it) - I've come to realise no matter how much you plan you can't really direct how the meeting is going to go. The dos and don'ts are good to go over, but since it's a first time affair you're not sure exactly what kind of people they are. What are topics you should steer clear of? Politics and religion I'd say - cos you don't know what their stance is on those subjects and things can get personal. It's also best not to argue too much to get your point across, after all, this is the first time you're meeting them.

Another thing to perhaps keep in mind is how to involve everyone in the conversation. Make sure you're talking to each other as well so that the family can see why you're so great together. THAT is the main reason you want to be together right? So make sure your chemistry is visible, let the love come across. No need to get handsy and be staring into each others eyes or being flirtatious! Just being yourselves is probably plenty!

If the hosts have gone through the trouble of painstakingly setting out some goodies and tea for you, DO let them know you appreciate their effort by eating (at least a little bit) and thanking them for going to such lengths! I think I'll keep adding to this as I go along and find out more...!

[caption id="attachment_27" align="aligncenter" width="872"] Whatever you do... don't do this![/caption]