Heartbreak Warfare

Not to talk in John Mayer songs but I feel like I'm tired of waiting on the world to change. A man and his thirteen year old son were shot dead yesterday, most likely for belonging to a different sect than the majority of Muslims in this foresaken country. Hazaras are dropping like flies; people who are so gentle, kind, amiable, being targeted because of their ethnicity and beliefs... we will turn them, too, into monsters. I can't wrap my mind around it. I know I'm no one to judge, but hey, at least I have that sense. I know that even if I want to skin these people alive and torture them till I see a hint of soul in their eyes, I can't, because that's not my call, it's not my place. But here they are tearing my country to shreds, killing innocent men, women and children, stripping families of loved ones, spreading shrapnel and hatred amongst communities which at the very root of it, are happy.

They're too illiterate to come together, build on love, preach unity, faith & discipline - the three words this nation was founded upon, and instead yearn to take matters into their own, uneducated, crude, hands, eliminating anyone they think is different. These thoughts keep me up at night... how will I raise a family here? Sure, this place has moulded me, the sea breeze is something that has sculpted me and become a part of me, the earth has coloured me and the warm sunshine has made me feel at peace, but really, is this the same Karachi, the same Pakistan that I grew up in? Is this where I'd be comfortable sending my children off to school? Unfortunately... no, I would not. That saddens me, but it's a reality I wish had dawned upon my parents before things got so out of hand... I wish they had skidaddled when they had the chance.

[caption id="attachment_2375" align="aligncenter" width="430"] STOP KILLING![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2376" align="aligncenter" width="430"] Never at peace[/caption]

Is peace just a fantasy?

I'm seething right now. Like I can't begin to tell you the intensity of the feelings bubbling within me, making my blood bubble and boil, if I was an animation there would be steam coming out of my ears and fire in each breath! The reason for this sheer rage? I'm sat on my couch watching these illiterate, frustrated, ruffians burn my country and destroy property, kill lives and loot shops and people without so much as a hint of consciousness. Unfortunately, this is not something that is surprising here, afterall this is Pakistan. We live in fear and apathy. The select few, some 2% of the population, are literate, smart, tolerant and understanding. Everyone else is just trying to make the most of their life, corruption, politics, taking what they can get away with. It makes my heart hurt. And it makes me angry to the extent that I want to run ALL these people over with a tank! Does that make me violent? These pesky hooligans! Do you blame me?

Oh and all this is to PROTEST. What? Oh that we Muslims are WRONGLY accused of being violent. Ok, so you're violently protesting to show you're a peace-loving religion? uhhh...I hate to tell you this but that's not how it's done. They slash WE need to understand and accept that this world is made up of a myriad of people, al who have their opinions and freedom of speech. After all a lot of people may not believe with what we think or may not like our judgement of them. Not that we're anyone to judge. Aren't we only proving them right and disgracing ourselves with this ridiculous behaviour?

Am I just an idealist and a dreamer? Will we never be able to live in peace? I think that literacy and not just knowing your ABC, but actual literacy, a good upbringing, etiquette, learning that comes from going to school and university - about life, not just academics - is what teaches us, for the most part, to live amongst others, other opinions, be tolerant, be understanding, be helpful, solve problems rather than make them. Sure there's always the odd few who are bullies or trouble makers, but for the most part they're outnumbered. What will happen to our world if majority of us are too busy tearing it apart to stop to think how we could live together in harmony? It really saddens me :(

I'm going to have to start an interfaith world peace organisation of likeminded people to try and make things better... and for all the trouble makers... TANKS! *boom*

[caption id="attachment_933" align="aligncenter" width="355"] Why are we killing people who had nothing to do with the film? Why are we rising up against a nation whose government has said they REJECT the film? Do we have nothing better to do? Is this the message we want to send to the world? Is this the state of affairs, the world, we want our children and generations after us to come into? I think not.[/caption]

A little bit of photography

So I've always thought I'd love to be a photo journalist for all kindsa things. I like taking un-boring pictures, setting compositions, playing around with settings on the camera... here's what I've done this past weekend...

Phobia

So I'm on a plane some 30,000 feet above sea level flying back from Karachi to Lahore. Unfortunately home isn't, in this case, where the heart is.

I'm terrified of flying. I seem to have almost a phobia of falling. It all stemmed from a class trip when I was ten... due to thunderstorms and lightening a plane full of bustling 6th graders fell some few hundred feet causing not only our stomachs to lurch but also our loose items, including drinks, to go flying into the space above us. The fact that our accompanying teachers were crying did little to console our terrified little hearts. Fifteen years on the memory still makes my throat close up and my stomach hurt.

[caption id="attachment_463" align="aligncenter" width="391"] Never again flying Shaheen Air! I'd rather a pay a little extra and come away with my life.[/caption]

I decided to write this so that I could distract myself from that feeling of what it would feel like plunging to my death. We took off into the night sky, the city of lights sparkling beneath me but were quickly enveloped in thick clouds. As shades of grey pressed against my window I couldn't help but feel claustrophobic. I couldn't see jack outside.

*new development* the lights all went on in the cabin suddenly...air hostesses started walking through and the PA beeped as there was some turbulence outside. That always makes my heart race. Apparently there was some technical issue and we had to turn around and go back. We were only some twenty minutes into the flight and so approx an hour out of Lahore, my destination. A technical problem is never good. my heart raced, so much so, that I couldn't hear my own thoughts, ie myself panic. But before I had time to fully freak out there was another announcement as worried passengers looked solemnly at one another that the problem had been resolved and we were going to keep easing towards Lahore. NOW... that should have made me feel better only I've heard an awful lot about airlines not wanting to waste fuel going back to their point of origin and therefore risking completing their journey even in lieu of a problem. I'm therefore going to spend the rest of this flight - approx 1 hour - praying to God to keep us safe, up in the air and let us land safely. I sincerely hope that the crew is smart enough to make the right decision.

I'm going to go now and write more about this phobia when I, God willing, land safely in what I call my home. Ameen.

So THAT (above) was yesterday. Now I'm at work - because I did, thank God, land safely. I also found out today, that the technical problem was that the wheel was jammed...! And so we landed with a thud and a screech and a little bounce as the plan kinda, sorta, swerved. I'm not exaggerating I swear!

Born to be wild..

So I’m a nature lover – I’m not talking botany and rain forest resorts, though I can be a bit of a tree-hugger, but more my love for animals. Whether they’re my own pets Dexter & Muffin, a bird that’s fallen out of its nest, an itsy bitsy frog, a turtle displaced from the river after the rains or even a baby lizard that makes my mother run shrieking to a safer spot... they make my heart melt. Just observing them and their ways makes me ooh and aah. They’re so... natural. Their actions and reactions are something I can relate to. Almost human. I’m not sure any of this makes any sense to ya’ll...

Where is this coming from? Oh well, there’s a pair of these long-legged birds, I’m not quite sure what they are – I’m going to have to google that – but they’ve got these three little chicks right outside my office. One of the parents, I’m guessing it’s the mom, stays down with the little ones, while the other, probably dad, stays up on a higher surface looking out for enemies. Sometimes when I’m bored I like to observe them. It’s like National Geographic right outside my window! The mom stands there in the centre watching the three chicklets running around, pecking at the grass, wandering, turning regularly to make sure each one is still there, still safe. At the very sight of a human both parents raise the alarm and the babies disappear, camouflaging themselves amongst the rubble.

[caption id="attachment_281" align="aligncenter" width="390"] Aha! Found it! It's a Red Wattled Lapwing![/caption]

Curious – and unfortunately, rather illiterate – colleagues of sorts were intrigued by this miracle of nature and went poking around. I saw through the glass as both adult birds got agitated, wreaking havoc with their loud wails. This, in turn, angered me. What was wrong with these people? They could clearly see that their actions were disconcerting the birds. How would they feel if predators threatened their young? Luckily though, they only wanted to see, and I guess they did have a conscience, for they didn’t harm the fluffy little birds, only looked at them in awe, smiling and chattering away like they’d never before seen anything of the sort.

[caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="384"] how cute are these fuzzy little creatures? :)[/caption]

The birds have become a permanent fixture it seems now. They’ve been here just over a week and are not as bothered by us as they were initially. I hope we’ll be seeing them even after the little ones learn to fly. I love watching them :) I love being so at one with these creatures – they offer so much to learn – if we go into it with our hearts and minds open we can live in utmost harmony with each other, in the separate worlds that overlap.