Phobia

So I'm on a plane some 30,000 feet above sea level flying back from Karachi to Lahore. Unfortunately home isn't, in this case, where the heart is.

I'm terrified of flying. I seem to have almost a phobia of falling. It all stemmed from a class trip when I was ten... due to thunderstorms and lightening a plane full of bustling 6th graders fell some few hundred feet causing not only our stomachs to lurch but also our loose items, including drinks, to go flying into the space above us. The fact that our accompanying teachers were crying did little to console our terrified little hearts. Fifteen years on the memory still makes my throat close up and my stomach hurt.

[caption id="attachment_463" align="aligncenter" width="391"] Never again flying Shaheen Air! I'd rather a pay a little extra and come away with my life.[/caption]

I decided to write this so that I could distract myself from that feeling of what it would feel like plunging to my death. We took off into the night sky, the city of lights sparkling beneath me but were quickly enveloped in thick clouds. As shades of grey pressed against my window I couldn't help but feel claustrophobic. I couldn't see jack outside.

*new development* the lights all went on in the cabin suddenly...air hostesses started walking through and the PA beeped as there was some turbulence outside. That always makes my heart race. Apparently there was some technical issue and we had to turn around and go back. We were only some twenty minutes into the flight and so approx an hour out of Lahore, my destination. A technical problem is never good. my heart raced, so much so, that I couldn't hear my own thoughts, ie myself panic. But before I had time to fully freak out there was another announcement as worried passengers looked solemnly at one another that the problem had been resolved and we were going to keep easing towards Lahore. NOW... that should have made me feel better only I've heard an awful lot about airlines not wanting to waste fuel going back to their point of origin and therefore risking completing their journey even in lieu of a problem. I'm therefore going to spend the rest of this flight - approx 1 hour - praying to God to keep us safe, up in the air and let us land safely. I sincerely hope that the crew is smart enough to make the right decision.

I'm going to go now and write more about this phobia when I, God willing, land safely in what I call my home. Ameen.

So THAT (above) was yesterday. Now I'm at work - because I did, thank God, land safely. I also found out today, that the technical problem was that the wheel was jammed...! And so we landed with a thud and a screech and a little bounce as the plan kinda, sorta, swerved. I'm not exaggerating I swear!